Z

Forgive yourself for the way you treated yourself in the past. For the way you talked to your body. For the way you vilified the way your mind worked when you were dealing with anxiety, or overthinking, or depression, or anything that was haunting it. Forgive yourself for the way you settled for less than what you wanted, or desired, or knew you needed, because you didn't think you deserved it; because you convinced yourself, somewhere along the lines, that you were not worthy of beauty in life, that you were not worthy of happiness or goodness or having the things you wanted come to fruition. Forgive yourself for the way you held yourself back because you didn't believe in your own potential, because you didn't believe in your capacity to take up space. Forgive yourself for all of the things you didn't say, or didn't wear, or didn't do because you were afraid of how it would make you look, because you were afraid of what others might think of you. Forgive yourself for the way you didn't, show up for yourself. For the ways in which you held yourself back, for the ways in which you didn't see just how worthy you were. For the ways in which you made yourself smaller.

Because I've noticed that I’m the type of person people love to be with for the moment. everyone runs to me when they need something, they run to me for whatever reason it is but it's just for a moment. They love to have me around but just at their convenience. They suck the joy out of me when they need it and leave when I'm drained out. They come to me when they need to recharge so they can go out and run better for others. I have such a pure heart w genuine intentions towards everyone and they love to take advantage of that. I may not be the perfect friend/girlfriend/daughter etc but I do go above and beyond for everyone in my life. I put aside my life and my issues when others need me and that's my problem. I put myself to the side like they do, instead of making myself my main priority. They realize how good of a person I was to them and how much help I was in their life, once I'm gone. but the thing about me is when they come back I let them. Why? Because I refuse to let anyone feel alone, the same way everyone makes me feel. I refuse to let anyone feel like they’re not being heard. I will never let anyone feel the way others make me feel. once I’ve had enough I'll forever still be there but u just won't get the same version of me. going ghost is the only way I can help recharge myself cus no one else will do it. going ghost on everyone is the only way to peace and happiness for me.

Fit