im sorry. im sorry i fucked things up. if i havent done what i done i wouldnt lost you. i miss you so fucking much. all the facetime calls all the texting at school all the chats we would have. u were the closet thing to me that u had and i ruined it. all because of all the fights we woukd of had. im so lost. i dont know what to fucking do now. im sorry. im sorry im sorry. its ALL my fault and i aways mess things up. i love you. i love the times we would tell literally everything o each other. and the times i would come over for your birthday and have aleepovers. but now tjat cant happen anymore. if i could live back that day i would. i would do anything to get you back. but thats not how life works. i know you possibly moved on. but i havent. i cant move on i just cant. you were the last thing and now its gone.. i miss you more than ever. half my heart is gone. i can never truley be happy. i shouldnt have done what i done to loose you. i always ruin things and i cant fix things now :/ im so drained. im drained of all the shit im going thru. im so tired of loosing people. never in my life have i thought i would loose you as my cousin and friend. NEVER and now it happene. i miss you so fucking much that i would die to restart. literally. i miss the old times. the old us. but life just keeps moving. you were the only person i trust and still do. and you were the only person i would talk abt anything with. not even my family. you were number 1. and now i have no one. i trust you. i love you. i miss you. and now im waiting. waiting that one day we would be friends again. i cant believe i lost someone i cared the most. not ONE day have i got without thinking of you. i know im always the reason we argue and its so fucking stupid. i always cause everything. things are so different here. everyday i plan on calling you. EVERYDAY. now no one. not once have i smiled after that day. NOT ONCE. i always will think of you. and ill always be waiting for a second try. im always open. not once has anyone made me laugh that much. my real laugh. your the only person who made my real laugh come out. no one else. and i really hope you see this. and if you do. i love and miss you so fucking much and im sorry for everything i did and im changing. im changing incase you give me a second chance. in changing for the good.
#foryou #fypシ
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