Still processing… I think for me walking towards the Lord and following Him and obeying his commands felt like a no brainer when I truly came to the realization of who He truly is in light of my wretchedness . When I said yes to him for real I didn’t deserve the mercy and grace he showed me, yet He was even more merciful and gracious. For someone like me who is my own worst critic, I often take the enemy’s job at accusing myself and condemning myself because of my past. The tricky thing with shame is it can cause me to feel that the Lord only saved me to just use me and that’s a lie. The Lord saved me because He loves me. It’s not enough to just know that He is loving, kind, gracious, just, merciful, a defender, a protected, a provider, and strong tower, but it’s believing that He is all that for me. What He did on the cross was a personal gift. Iv spent too many years trying to earn what I can never earn instead of just accepting what I never deserved. So for anyone who struggles with this like me I guess I just wanted to encourage you as the Holy Spirit is currently comforting and encouraging me. The facts may be that you have lived a troubled and sinful past but the unchanging reality is that the Lord our God loves us with an unwavering and unfailing love. He saved us because He loves us and He uses us so that His appeal can be made through us. Are we His servants and a slave to the gospel? Yes! But we are also his sons and daughters and we can also sit at his feet and just be with Him too. Man, an honor it is to be loved by the God of the universe. “See what great love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children — and we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it didn’t know him.” 1 John 3:1