What to Do When You Bump Into Your Ex Let’s set the scene: you’re at a party or grabbing coffee, and there they are—your ex. What do you do? First, remember this: you don’t owe them anything. No performance, no explanation, no big gestures. Just match their energy and keep it moving. If They Don’t Approach You Do nothing. Seriously, if they don’t acknowledge you, there’s no rule saying you have to make the first move. Don’t overthink it or try to force a conversation. Let their silence be the signal for your own silence. If They Approach You Keep it short and neutral. Match their tone and vibe. If they’re casual, be casual. If they’re distant, respect that distance. • “Hey, good to see you.” If they’re smiling, give a slight smile, and don’t venture to say anything, allow them to initiate. This is on them. You can be friendly, but don’t be needy. That’s it. Keep the conversation surface-level and avoid lingering. You’re not there to rekindle anything or dig up the past. You’re there to get a drink and a pastry. So let’s talk quickly about What NOT to Do: 1. Don’t Over-Gush Avoid overly complimenting them or reminiscing. It puts you in a vulnerable position and shifts the power dynamic unnecessarily. 2. Don’t Overcompensate No need to brag about how great your life is now. Authentic confidence doesn’t try so hard to be noticed. It’s okay to say, “I’m doing okay,” if they’re smiling ask and don’t attempt to make yourself look like someone that you’re not. 3. Don’t Get Emotional This isn’t the time for deep talks, apologies, or confessions. Save that for your journal. Believe when I tell you, you’re better off to play it close to the vest, than to try to dump a bunch of stuff in their laps or try to make them feel badly or annoyed that they even approached you. Confidence in who you are, despite what has happened between the two of you is far superior than acting like your life has come to a screeching halt since they dumped you. In short, match their energy, but show up with a little less than they have. So, let’s talk about The Why Matching their energy shows maturity and self-respect. Gushing over them—or acting like their presence shakes you—can make you seem stuck. Instead, focus on looking composed and unbothered. If they leave the encounter wondering what’s on your mind, that’s a win. When it comes to exes, less is always more. You have absolutely NOTHING to prove. You were in this thing for the long haul. If anyone should feel a little uncomfortable, it should be them. Remember, the higher you climb, the better the view. Let me encourage you to climb higher. You deserve to be happy.
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