I'm still processing what happened on Monday night. I mean, I'm not surprised. Creepy, disgusting men are emboldened right now, but I do think I impressed myself. On Monday night, I witnessed a man assault 2 women multiple times. It started friendly enough with him drunkenly shoving his ass into my friend's lap and dancing. I asked her if she was comfortable with that and she said what most of us would have. "It's fine. He's just drunk." Later he took it a step further and reached down and helped himself to a handful of her ass. When I say handful, I mean handful! HE REACHED AS FAR IN BETWEEN HER LEGS AS HE COULD AND SQUEEZED! Like a reverse, ghbtp. I saw her FREEZE. We always talk about fight or flight, but we don't talk enough about FREEZE. I asked if she was ok with that. I didn't wanna overstep after she seemed okay with the lapdance. But she said, he's a regular here. He always tips well. I could tell she didn't wanna rock the boat at work. Anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to keep my mouth shut in the face of injustice, but I managed. THEN HE DID IT TO ANOTHER WOMAN!! I pulled her aside and asked if she was okay with that. AGAIN, frozen. She said "It's probably just a one time thing, I don't think he'll do it again. I'm ok." But of course, he got away with it twice already, so he bumbled back over to her and helped himself to THIRD handful. Lingering, and leaning into her. I SNAPPED! I can't remember the exact words I used but I put my hand on his arm and said something to the effect of "GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER ASS! SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH HER LIKE THAT. IT'S GROSS. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED." He was wide-eyed and looked around to the 2 women he had just assaulted. Pleading for them to let him off the hook. They didn't help him. I told him to stop looking at them. "DON'T LOOK AT THEM, LOOK AT ME! I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW" Then his true nature came out. He started calling me derogatory names. I walked away because I have a pretty intense spit reflex and I didn't wanna lose control. Although a loogie in his eye wouldn't even come close to the assault he just committed. Once he started yelling at me, everyone else at the bar perked up. All the men created a barrier and made sure he closed out his tab (he didn't leave a tip, of course) and then escorted him away. That man is no longer allowed at this bar. Banned for life. But only because I spoke up. Once one person stood up to him, everyone else did too and we all came together to remove the problem. It is almost 2025! If you see someone misbehaving speak out! A LOT of women have FREEZE responses as a survival instinct. Those women are relying on the people around them to help. It's time for us women and benevolent <3 men to stand in our power and shine a light on the horrible things predators do in the dark. They thrive when we are silent.
#witchy #feminism #freezeresponse #speakup #femininerising #wildwomen #sisterhood