I was just scrolling through Facebook and came across this reel that explained “the orange peel theory” and I was immediately overwhelmed with emotion. After the birth of my second baby, a breech home birth. ( I was staying in my mother in-laws basement at the time of my birth, due to construction on my house. ) I was 13 days postpartum when my midwife came to visit for a checkup. I remember this day like it was yesterday, because it forever changed me. I was laying in bed, as I should have been, heard the midwife pull up, dogs bark, followed by a 15 minute silence. I assumed that she was just upstairs talking with my MIL. Which she was. My midwife entered my room with a demeanor I have never seen before. Asked me if I was “okay or struggling mentally because it’s just not normal to sit around like this.” She suggested that I got up and made my husband dinner, and took out the trash. 😦 (Before she had asked about how I was feeling physically, blood loss etc) She literally told me that she wanted me to “take out the trash before she left, so she could make sure I was going to do it” 😮💨 A little garbage can that was getting emptied 1-2 times a day, next to my bed. I held back the tears and finished the appointment. Then took a Snapchat and sent it to my husband and a few friends. ( the last picture ) He called me and asked what was going on, and told me he would talk to his mom etc. before he got home she came downstairs and defended her side by continuing to tell me I was essentially a peice of shit. -I had been doing laundry, cleaning up after myself and kids as I could, it was the middle of harvest so my husband went back to work 2 days pp. He helped when he could. And my MIL did help a lot with meals and child care. I am thankful for that. But she also offered everything. Told me I could stay in her basement for my birth, and as long as I needed to heal. (Because we were living in a concrete shop, with a brand new baby I was just a little more comfortable down there with a good shower, etc.) During the extange of words (me crying the whole time while she tried to prove I was a POS) she had mentioned that “this same fucking orange peel has been sitting outside on the patio for 2 days). Those words will forever be imprinted on my soul. Why couldn’t someone else have just picked up the orange peel? 😢🧡🍊 I am thankful for my experience though, because God knows I will always take my pain and use it for gain. As I’m still trying to find the right path for midwifery/ birthwork I do know I experienced this for a reason. I know the 5-5-5 rule. I know about breech birth now. I know about postpartum hemorrhage and retained placenta. And I would NEVER side with your mother in-law, or ever make you feel anything less than loved. Oh, and I would take out that garbage and pick up the fucking orange peel. 😚🤍🤌🏻
#postpartum #orangepeeltheory #birthtrauma #narcissistabuse #17diapers #midwiferymodelofcare #555rule