Trigger warning: pet loss š The first born and first to leave my side, rest in peace, Maple I donāt know what to say, even today I feel so angry and sad and confused but also grateful to have met her Thankful I had the weeks I had, and inspired to make her suffering mean something Truth is, the end wasnāt pretty. Iāll spare you the details, but just know we did everything we could to save her Iāll never forget sitting at the specialty ER clinic as they hand me a (minimum) 4 figure estimate. They didnt expect me to approve it since she was a foster and so youngā¦ But I told them to spare nothing and do everything. I knew in my heart weād figure it out, the universe would provide Some think thatās ridiculous, but when I foster they become family. Period. And for family, Iād do anything Unfortunately, money and specialists couldnāt save her Unfortunately, her precious little body couldnāt handle this brutal world and she passed away in my arms By this time, the entire clinic was in love with her. This didnāt surprise me because there was something special about her When we lost her, we all wept together. The entire clinic stopped what they were doing for Maple. Everyone came together. While heartbreaking, it was beautiful It proves you donāt need to be mighty in size to have a mighty impact Being the first born, she was the first being to show me the miracle of life. It was such an honor to be part of her incredible existence I did send her out for an autopsy because I was desperate to know what happened and why. I blamed myself for weeks. I carried tremendous guilt and went to a very dark place that, candidly, Iām still crawling out of How could a being so small impact me so big? Because thatās who Maple was. Mighty in spirit, mighty in love It took what felt like forever to get results, but we learned she had a congenital lung developmental disorder that as her body grew, her lungs didnāt. While this gave me some peace of mind that that I didnāt expose her to a disease, per se, it meant the others could be at risk tooā¦ And unfortunately thatās what started to happen next š
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