Before anyone says, āwell youāre just lucky to have such a good situation with ex-partnersāā¦. Imma stop you right there. This wasnāt luck. This was continual intentional decisions to work to create this family. When we started dating, he and his ex-wife were neck deep in a brutally ruthless multi-year long custody battle. I vividly remember sitting in court on that last day, walking out of the building and saying to him, āthis is over with now, we arenāt doing this anymore. We are going to fix this. This is not going to be our story and its certainly not going to be our childrens.ā Every single day since then choices have been made to get us to where we are now. To the place where our kids never have to choose. To the place where we sit together in the bleachers of the basketball games. To the place where we throw the birthday parties together. To the place where we trick or treat together. To the place where she loves having MY bio kids over for sleepovers. To the place where her and her boyfriend join us and my parents in our home for Thanksgiving. To the place were we all took our kids for their first trip to Disneyland together so that no one had to miss such a special memory. To the place where we have each others back and realize we are on the same team. But luck? No. Luck had nothing to do with it. Maturity, hardwork, selflessness, sacrifice, choosing our battles and most importantly LOVE had everything to do with it. So just make the first move. And then make it again and again and again until it clicks. I do not have this situation with my bio kidās dad, despite all of my best and most desperate efforts. The pain that the division and lack of coparenting relationship causes my children is a heartbreak I wouldnāt wish on anyone. I will pray every single day until I die that one day my ex-husband will become apart of our family the way my new husbandās ex-wife has. I see the difference it has made in my step kids (and my bio kids) lives to have us united. Just put aside the pride and resentment guys. Your relationship isnāt about the two of you anymore, that ship sailed when you decided to split up. Its about your kids and THEIR family, which involves the both of you. Get it together. The peace is so worth it.
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