I’m really starting to wonder why God is keeping me here in this valley. I feel so hopeless. I feel absolutely forgotten by God in this absolute HOLE of a valley. It is so hard to believe that flowers will ever grow. I am so over due. I’ve been “induced” with a foley balloon twice. I’ve tried all the foods, all the walks, all the exercise circuits, all the recipes, all the herbs and tinctures, all the oils. I am starting to get scared this is going end at the hospital being induced. If you are new here, i don’t do hospitals. We are holistic and believe that God made our bodies perfectly and designed me for this. Hospitals are for sick people and pregnant people aren’t sick people. If you remember my last experience having to birth in the hospital due to a severe car accident you remember me almost ending my life on several occasions because of the trauma i went through and the horrible things they forced on me that were absolutely unnecessary. I can’t do it again. I am not an animal to be caged in a hospital. If you haven’t experienced the absolute freedom of home birth then you will never understand what is being taken from you by hospitals so please don’t even comment on it unless you have done home birth. The anxiety is thru the roof as the days of safety, even for my holistic home birth midwife, are closing in. I just need God to come through more than ever before. This baby needs to be born. Now.