school wasn’t the only thing i felt pressured by. growing up in a low-income household where you’re your family’s one + only ticket into a better future, you’re given very little room for change. no matter how much i wanted to pursue that white coat, i knew deep down i wasn’t doing it for myself or the right intentions. “it’s what i’ve always wanted” or “it’s what everyone expects of me” wasn’t good enough anymore. WHY did i want it? what do I expect of myself? + it took me the entire year and a half of me in my Master’s program, honestly hating medicine, for me to figure out wtf i wanted afterwards. i wanted to stop getting in my own way, i wanted to stop making excuses for myself just because i was scared of failure & rejection, + i wanted to stop living with the regrets in my current job, i often hear “we’re not saving lives, we’re saving pdfs” & the very first time i heard that, i knew I wasn’t fulfilled with myself bc i wanted to be saving lives sometime in my life. I deeply longed to have that profound impact on others, and no matter how difficult or strenuous the journey will take me I know in my heart I will find so much reward in it all I don’t regret any of the decisions i’ve made leading up to this point in my life, but I know I’ll regret never trying to become Dr. Nguyen bc one day I may be the one doctor someone needs little me deserves to learn that when we fail, we don’t stop trying or find easier routes. we keep praying and trying until we reach our goals
#20something #premed #vietnamese #aapi #generationaltrauma