I got my driver's license once I turned 18 but have rarely driven in the last 9 years. Some of that is because I didn't have money to buy a car when I was in school, and now I have little need to drive since I live and work in SF. That being said, even when I had the opportunity to practice, I actively avoided it because I have pretty bad anxiety when it comes to driving. It's always been a quirk about me that I find a bit embarrassing because it's such a basic life skill (at least in California lol). Most of my fear stems from the possibility of getting into an accident and causing inconvenience to others. I've never been in a car accident before (thank god/knocking on wood), but as a generally risk-adverse person, I avoided taking "unnecessary" risk as much as possible. But I realized that the less I expose myself to the thing I'm scared of, the bigger the issue continues to grow in my mind and the fewer opportunities I have to ever overcome it. While it's easier to avoid situations that cause my anxiety, there's one thing I hate more than feeling anxious, and that's the frustration I feel when held back by own fears. And so, for the last 2 weeks while I've been home for the holidays, I challenged myself to have the courage to use the car more frequently! It's only been 2 weeks so my feelings towards driving haven't changed significantly but I'm proud of my baby steps. Change is still change even if it happens little by little.
#reflection #growth #videojournal