Okā¦ jokes asideā¦ there is some truth here. Marriage is messy, and we show up with different families of origins, trauma, fighting and communication styles, and Primal Questions. Typically, these things are opposite, making navigating conflict confusing and frustrating. Then you throw hurt into the mixā¦ (yes, my friend, you WILL hurt each other at some point), and now weāre in an ongoing gridlock of being in a relationship with each otherās behavior. I honestly believed the way I did things was more efficient. I thought I knew everything. Guess what? He thought the same about himself. How can two people be right? (Spoiler alert: they can, but that realization comes with healing.) I can tell you how I became the front-runner in this competition. He betrayed me. Yep. He made a big mistake and betrayed my trust. That was it. All bets were off, and I had the upper hand. I was perfect. He was a jerk. And he didnāt deserve me. My heart was no longer safe with him. And he couldnāt do anything right. (Oddly enough, that makes the pain feel a little better.) Iām exaggerating a bit, but if I were honest with myself, I truly believed this sometimes. The truth is. Iām just as flawed as he is. Iām only 2-3 decisions away from betraying his trust. It wasnāt until I humbled myself, looked in the mirror, and took responsibility for my role that I could see my husbandās beautiful character and watch him shine. Iām simplifying a complicated healing process that required both of us to work hard. But my point is: Donāt try to change your spouse. Instead, become wildly curious about them. Be open to their influence on you. ā¤ļø
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