Info from “A Psychologist Explains The Experience Of ‘Postpartum Rage’”, Forbes Magazine. Info from COPE: What is postnatal or postpartum rage? While people talk about postnatal depression and anxiety and this is often covered in the media, we rarely hear about postnatal or postpartum rage, which may also be experienced- particularly in the months following birth and early years of parenthood. In some ways, talking about feelings of anger and post partum rage is still taboo, especially during a a time when we feel pressure to only have positive loving feelings towards our children and family members. As a result this can leave mums and dads who report feeling intense, all-consuming rage to also feel guilt and shame. It can also stop parents from speaking out or getting the help they need – rather they suffer in silence. Symptoms of postnatal rage may include: Screaming or swearing more often Difficulty controlling your temper Physical expression of anger such as punching or throwing things Experiencing violent thoughts or urges Feeling a flood of emotions afterwards, including shame Here are some helpful strategies that may help you cope with postpartum rage: Remember that you’re not alone Rage can be a common part of early motherhood. This is particularly so when you’re sleep-deprived and coping with the challenge of the transition to parenthood. It’s okay to have feelings It’s okay for our children to see that we have feelings, to see that we’re human, and that we can “lose it” at times. It gives them permission to do the same. Recognise triggers Have a think about your triggers and consider journaling to keep track of what can set you off. Understanding these patterns can to help determine where you might need additional support. Breathe Try to slow your breathing. Breathe in for two seconds and breathe out for four seconds. Repeat until your heart rate slows down. Acknowledge other stressors It’s important not to underestimate the impact of sleep-deprivation and hormonal fluctuations on your ability to cope and on your feelings and emotions. Set boundaries While these aspects aren’t often something we can control, things like saying “no” to visitors, lowering our expectations around house work and crossing a few items off our to-do list are some ways to lower feelings of overwhelm. Take time out If you can take some time away from your child, do something you find soothing. This may be having a shower, going for a run, listening to music, or calling and speaking to a friend. This will be different for everyone. Ask for help It’s important that if your baby’s crying is setting you off, that you ask for your partner or a family/friend to take over while you catch your breath. If this isn’t possible, put your baby down in a safe place, such as their cot, and take five minutes.
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