I don’t like when my clients say they’re hyper-independent because it’s an identity that reinforces isolation rather than a natural trait of high achievement. My clients are driven, ambitious, and self-sufficient—not because they have to be alone, but because they have a vision that requires them to show up powerfully. But that vision isn’t meant to be and doesn’t have to be carried alone. Hyper-independence isn’t a personality trait—it’s often a trauma response. It comes from past experiences where they may have felt unsupported or let down, leading them to believe they can only rely on themselves. But life isn’t about doing everything alone; it’s about discerning who and what aligns with the bigger picture and allowing that alignment to support the vision. Instead of accepting hyper-independence as an identity, I encourage them to train themselves to be open to receiving help in small ways—like asking someone at the grocery store where an item is, even if they already know. These small acts of receptivity build the muscle of allowing support without compromising self-sufficiency. What they need isn’t to be less independent but to allow the right people to contribute without fear of losing control.
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