mrsofarrell

Six months without my soulmate. 💔 @Paul OFarrell #heshouldbehere #loml #loss #grief #widowsoftiktok #CW4PaulOFarrell #imisshim #crc #USARMY #Nightstalkers #servicerelatedcancer #NSDQ #NSDF (that is, until you’re not assisting the war machine anymore)

Please, dont go. 💔😭 I would give anything to save him. To change our fate. I miss him so much. #heshouldbehere #grief #ServiceRelatedCancer #CRC #goldstar #widowsoftiktok #CW4PaulOFarrell #heartbroken #kitchenfan #harmony #claireboyermusic #fyp #fypage

Paul was the life of every party. What do you do when the party is over? 💔 I miss him. #heshouldbehere #grief #widowsoftiktok #coloncancer #fyp #CW4paulofarrell #paulofarrell #FUCancer @Paul OFarrell @micahsnow20 @Faith

A little less than 2 months before Paul died, I found one if his dream cars for sale locally. A blue BMW Z4 M40i. I had a lot of anxiety about buying it because he had just started a new clinical trial and there were so many unknowns. I made the first payment 7 days before he died 💔 He told his mom that he regretted buying it because of how expensive it was. It was worth every penny we spent. We made so many amazing PRICELESS memories in it. This is just one. I wish I could have kept it. #heshouldbehere #imisshim #grief #widowsoftiktok #coloncancer #fyp #paulofarrell #bmw #bimmerboy #loss #fucancer 💙 #imissyou @Paul OFarrell

His absence walks through the door every single day. 💔 Grief pulls up his chair at our table every evening. Heartbreak folds the covers back before bed every night. Life is not life without him. #heshouldbehere #FUCancer #imisshim #myhusband #loss #grief #widowsoftiktok #fuckcancer #servicerelated #coloncancer #LOD @Paul OFarrell

I received a message checking on me because I haven’t posted in a while. I am struggling with grief. Every day is hard. He was my soulmate and I haven’t quite learned how to breathe without him. I have also been battling so much more than I speak of - in time it will all come to light. For now, enjoy these #snapchatfilter clips of Paul and Astrid. #imisshim #heartbroken #myhusband #depression #loss #grief #mourning #widowsoftiktok #fucancer #fuckcancer #paulofarrell #snapchat #fyp #viral

It may not he special to anyone else - but I absolutely loved how much he loved to fly - and draw - and cook.. he was never just interested in things, he was passionate about them. #OH58D #KiowaWarrior #balls #fyp #helicopter #bellhelicopters #grief #art

I think we could all use this reminder. Whether you want them to or not - these moments will pass. Love now. #grief #soulmate #widowsoftiktok #heshouldbehere #ServiceRelated #cancer #ToDust #CW4PaulOFarrell #AlmostOneYear @Paul OFarrell

Two years ago - as we walked hand in hand down the beach and he was singing me a song about how much he loved it when I rubbed his head - you could have never convinced me of the reality I am forced to exist in now. 💔 It is NOT FAIR. He was the best of us and I am shattered pieces without him. #grief #soulmate #widowsoftiktok #heshouldbehere #ServiceRelated #cancer #ToDust #CW4PaulOFarrell

I woke up with this song stuck in my head. I miss the way he loved me. I miss him. @I miss the me I was with him. #grief #ToDust #soulmate #cancer #widowsoftiktok #CW4PaulOFarrell #heshouldbehere #ServiceRelated @Paul OFarrell

From drafts. Astrid wanted to teach herself “Happy Birthday” for my 40th birthday. 🥹 she keeps me going. #teachyourself #piano #mybaby #draft #fypage #foryou #viral

How can this be? In 5 days, he will be gone for 8 months. I still cry every day. He was the love of my life and it still doesn’t feel real that he’s gone. 😭😭 I miss him. I miss the love we shared. I grieve the life that we were supposed to share together.. the life I now have to carry on alone. #ToDust 💔💔 #illstoptheworldandmeltwithyou #loss #grief #soulmate #loml #cancer #fyp #widowsoftiktok #goldstar @Paul OFarrell #CW4PaulOFarrell

It was never supposed to be this way. We found what we had always been searching for in each other - and now I have to wake up every day and live this life without him. 💔😭 I miss him. I miss the ‘me’ I was with him. The weight of his absence is absolutely crushing me. 🫥 @Paul OFarrell #heshouldbehere #widowsoftiktok #cw4paulofarrell #imisshim #grief #soulmate #servicerelatedcancer #fyp #SOF #sofcommunity #cancer #FUcancer

Well, babe. We made it to Yellowstone on Memorial Day weekend. It was breathtaking and beautiful - and we missed you terribly. 🇺🇸💔 #Yellowstone #OldFaithful #widowsoftiktok #heshouldbehere #cw4paulofarrell #fyp #BucketList @Paul OFarrell